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financial issues at home with in laws

Asked by Male, 35, Married
Me and my wife are living together along with my mother, father, wife and bother ( unmarried ) in home for which me and my wife are paying EMIs. Whenever I get into argument for any wrong doing in the home they think that I m showing authority on my home. Similarly in case of my wife whenever she gets argument with my mother , my mother thinks that she is showing authority because she is part of this home loan. I am fed up of this , Me and my wife are not able to say anything if we found wrong just because we are paying for the home in which we all are living.
Thumb sneha jayagopal

Dear Writer, thank you for writing in. I understand your frustration. From what I gather the source of all the contention might have to do with the EMIs you and your wife are paying. But before I get to that can you tell more about these 'wrong doings' at home. What kind of situation leads to an argument?
It's possible that your parents' way of settling an argument is by saying you are challenging their authority and your paying EMIs doesn't make them answerable to you. In some households it is considered that the person who handles financial responsibilities becomes the head of the house. Perhaps your parents feel insecure, that your are exercising your rights as the head of the house and undermining their age and wisdom?
From what I gather, you and your wife feel that your issues are being negated and misunderstood as you showing your authority. Either way you and your wife don't feel like you are being heard and that annoys you. It bothers you to have this EMI thing constantly used against you. Before another unproductive confrontation it might help for you to talk to your parents and find out why they feel that you are being authoritative just because you have some issues? It might help to ask yourself if it is the way you are communicating that triggers such a negative reaction on their part? Maybe they are responding to the tone of your voice rather than the content of the issue? Please do message back to continue our discussion and let me know what you think. Regards.

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