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Husband ill-treats, abuses me. We don't have any physical relationship for long time

Asked by Female, 47, Married
I have a problem in my married life. My husband is ill-treating me and he is trying to exploit me for money and we don't have any physical relationship for past many years. If I ask him for divorce, he abuses me with cheap words and asks me to leave the house.
Answer
Default user
Malavi Madhusudan
Counseling Psychologist

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out. It takes a lot of courage to state that there is an issue, especially in a marriage. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you and the pain you must be experiencing especially when your husband verbally abuses you. I am sure that when he uses cheap words, it must be very hurtful and must definitely affect your self-worth. It also sounds like you and your husband have not been connecting emotionally and physically for a very long time. With regards to him exploiting you for money, what does he tell you? Do you have a separate account so you are in charge of your money? If it is a question of safety, do you have family or friends that you can reach out to? If there is a physical threat, I would recommend if you can get immediate help from someone you know and stay with them. In addition, when it comes to a divorce, I would recommend that you talk to a lawyer first before approaching him. I do believe that you can file for divorce by yourself and do not need his consent. If you require additional help, please do approach a counsellor. It is perfectly normal to get help when you feel like you are stuck. Counseling will provide confidentiality and protect your identity, if that is a concern.

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