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Husband is verbally abusive in front of family members

Asked by Female, 28, Married

Hello, Whenever I meet my husband's family members, there's always an issue that comes up. Not only from his family members but from his side too. He reacts very badly and even starts shouting at me in front of his family and immediately calls my mother to tell my smallest mistakes in a bad tone. I just can't handle it. With just a year of marriage, it has already happened twice or always when a get-together happens. I have started hating him and I am not able to forget and forgive him from my end. These memories are hurting me every day. I get so angry when I am alone with the thoughts of his deeds. I don't understand what to do?

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Answer

Dr. Joseph

Counseling Psychologist

Message Dr. Joseph

Answered over 4 years ago

Hello Writer,

Thank you for seeking help from the Askmile team to deal with the difficulties you encountered in your one year old marriage.

Your major issue is that your husband shouts and screams at you when his family members are around. This has happened whenever you visited his family in the home town. When you both are not in the hometown, his behavior is different and he tries to make you feel good. Your dreams about marriage and family life is shattered with his approach to you. His reactions make you feel that you failed to play the role of the ideal wife. He is upset with you not playing that role of the ideal wife.

This criticism, shouting and blaming has caused a lot of reactions that make you feel angry towards him. There is no happiness. The intensity of your anger is visible when you say that you hate him. He are not able to forgive him from inside. Somehow you are managing each day without any happiness. You are confused at this stage and uncertain about the future.

He has no complaints when you are together as a couple. He has complaints when you are with his family. What are his complaints?

Now I need a bit more information from you regarding your family, growing up process, and education.
Tell me briefly about your family that includes parental behavior.

You said your marriage is love-cum-arranged marriage. How long did you know your husband before the marriage?
Do you feel frustrated and pressurized as you did not find a job during the last one year?
Are you in touch with your family members sharing what you experience with your husband?
Are they supportive when you share your difficulties?
And any other information that is important for me to understand your personality and marital issues.

Write back with more details. We are here to help you.

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