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Alcoholic husband gets very aggressive and abusive when drunk

Asked by Female, 27, Married
I am 27 years old, recently married (4 months ago) to a person who now appears to be an alcoholic. Since it was an arranged marriage I didn't know the extent of his drinks. He drinks almost every day and gets very aggressive and abusive when drunk. He raised hand on me yesterday. His parents tell me to give him some time and not take any severe steps as it's too early. When he is sober, he is a very nice person and a loving husband, but I can't tolerate his words and behavior when he is drunk as I have never seen something like this before. What should I do? Please advise
Thumb sneha jayagopal

Dear Writer, thank you for writing in. You need help and so does your husband. Alcoholism is a disease and when not addressed sooner than later can quickly spiral out of control and lead to place where your very safety is under threat. Regardless of how newly married you are, it's is never reason enough to compromise with self- respect and safety. This is a serious situation which requires serious actions. This is not a behaviour one should ever have to tolerate alone or give it time. Firstly, ask yourself, how safe do you feel? Do you have someone to come to your aid when your husband's behaviour is aggressive? What is your relationship with your in-laws like? Do you feel that they understand that this situation is potentially harmful to the both of you? Does he consider or even realise that he has a problem? How long has been drinking?
Please confide in a family member or a friend who can either come to your rescue or whom you can stay with whenever your husband's behaviour is uncontrollable. Get yourself out of harm's way first because you can't reason with a drunk unless they are sober. Your being around while he's intoxicated is likely to provoke him towards violence even more.
In this matter, time is of the essence, the sooner you take action the more productive. So set down an ultimatum that he needs to get help for his alcoholism. How do you build a relationship if you don't feel safe and can't trust your partner?
Alcoholism is substance abuse and before a pattern of physical abuse sets in, take control immediately. Please do not isolate yourself and neither should you just wait for the issue to sort itself out because alcoholism doesn't just go away on it's own. Consider having him enlist at organisations such as Alcoholics Anonymous(contact +91 90081 80860) or admitted for de-addiction at a rehabilitation centre of your choice.

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