We take our user's privacy very seriously and will never, ever expose any personal details. All personal indentifiable information on these questions here are carefully removed and published only after getting permission from user.

Fights with wife due to frequent travel for work

Asked by Male, 38, Married
I have often have to travel for work and my wife does not like it. I love my job but cant continue to have fights at home about my travel. I am emotionally torn apart. please suggest what to do.
Thumb 70
Madhuri Mohan
Counselling Psychologist

What you and your wife are experiencing is often referred to by professionals as the 'travelling spouse syndrome' and this has taken a toll on a lot of couples recently, causing stress and strain on marriages. fortunately, there are simple solutions to fix this. First, It is important that when you travel that you make your wife feel more connected. Today, with modern technology, there are several ways that you can achieve this. a quick message during the day, a skype call whenever you both are free can go a long way. The reasons why spouses tend to get upset or frustrated when their partner is away is because they feel on some level they are losing an emotional connection with them. This is more pronounced in women as they tend to be more emotional. So send your wife a quick 'i love you' message or let them know that you are thinking about them, even a joke or an anecdote of an interesting thing that happened to you will help calm your wife down. This has been proven to take a lot of stress away from both partners.

Second, share your thoughts and feelings with your wife in a calm and open manner. Trust is a very important factor, especially when one of you has a travelling job. Open discussions about what is bothering both of you'll will help build this trust. Bursting out due to frustration is never a good idea. when you feel that things are getting tense, take time off and calm your nerves before you'll sit down and have a discussion. Allow your wife to vent a little as she hasn't seen you in days and misses you this is normal. After she has finished, sit with her calmly and ask her about what about your travels bother her. trust me you will definitely earning brownie points if you do this.

Third, make it a point to take time off and go on trips and holidays together! take your spouse along on a business trip. Sometimes mixing business with pleasure is not a bad thing. This will give your spouse an opportunity to see what your environment and also get a change from her daily routines. Then when you do go on other trips, she will be calm and less anxious.

Finally, changes are never easy and human relationships need to be worked on by both partners. Work with each other to build communication between you'll and in time you will find your comfort zone. So embrace this period, learn and grow with each other, strengthen your marriage and family life and you may find that you love and appreciate one another more than you realised.

Hope, this helps. If you do have more apprehensions, feel free to get in touch. Thanks.

Speak with a Relationship Counselor today
  • Anonymous and Convenient. Free Trial Available.
  • Send Unlimited Messages to your dedicated Counselor.
  • Book a Phone Session