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How do I trust my husband who had an extra marital affair with a colleague and admitted it. I'm not able to move on.

Asked by Female, 35, Married
My husband has cheated on me, he had an extra marital affair with a colleague, I confronted him after I got some proofs, he admitted and regretted and assured won't repeat. But as per his basic nature of forgetting things too easily and taking everything including me very lightly, I still cannot trust him. I feel he is still into it and he is telling all sort of lies to convince me that he isnt doing it anymore! When I have asked some private question, he was reluctant at first and then he answered but I dont feel they are realistic or the truth.
Thumb sneha jayagopal

Dear Sweta, thank you for writing in. To have your trust broken is no small matter and I understand you are in a lot of pain. You thought you knew your husband and his infidelity is making you question everything about your relationship. I understand you question your husband's apology because what's the guarantee that he won't slip ever again.
You have decided to stay in the marriage and since forgiving him seems impossible, there's still your feelings to consider. Since you won't be falling back on your relationship there are chances that your anger and depression can increase.
I know you want to stop wanting anything from this relationship but you still have needs and expectations that will need fulfilling. From our call I gathered that you are very overwhelmed now. Being in pain does that. So let's take it a step at a time. Let's focus on your feelings now.
Has your husband's infidelity made you question yourself or your judgement?
Has this made you look at yourself differently (self- confidence and self respect)?
To help you accordingly I would like to get to know you better. If comfortable, could you tell me more about yourself as an individual?
I am here for you .

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