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Husband unemployed for 3 years, savings over

Asked by Female, 42, Married
My husband has been unemployed for three years and we have spent all our savings. I am fed up with him.
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Pooja Hari Kumar
Counsellor & Special Educator

My heart goes out to you. It is tough to be unemployed, but it is equally tough to be the partner watching and supporting the unemployed person. It is a terribly helpless position. Some have become involuntary breadwinners, straining to care for everyone and everything with one lone paycheck.

Does your husband need help and encouragement to get a job ?

Maybe he feels his resume isnt good enough but he doesnt know where to start. Maybe he doesnt even know what kind of job hes looking for. Break it down into small chunks, and ask yourself: which of these chunks can you do for him? So instead of asking him constantly, youre coming alongside him and cheering him on and helping him. You could even talk to him like this and see if it helps.

Set Deadlines and Goals for Him Looking for a Job

Speak to him about having a deadline . If you are going to be the one going to work, then he needs to understand what it is that he will be expected to do around the house Lay out a daily schedule of what needs to be done so that he sees it in black and white.

If Your Husband Wont Get a Job, He Still Has to Work

If you follow this route, though, it needs to be understood that you will not be carrying two loads. Your husband cant refuse to work altogether. I have known women who have gone to work who have also doen household work. He found it to hard to .You both need to work; one bring in money, and one to care of the house. If your husband wont work, let him know thats not an option.

If He Doesnt Agree to Get a Job, Get Outside Help

Finally, if he just doesnt agree, work at something. If a man is refusing to do any work at all, and is acting like an adolescent, this isnt something you can tolerate. It endangers the family; it endangers your relationship.

I hope that helps, and if you want to talk further please message again.

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