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My husband cheated on me, has child. Should I leave him?

Asked by female, 29 yrs, married
I been married for four years and my husband cheated on me and there might be a child involved they took a DNA test and found out two weeks ago the baby is his what do I do? Do I stay or leave he wants to make it work but I'm confused I need advice on what to do?
Answer
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Garima
Counseling Psychologist

Cheating is a painful, deeply unsettling experience, but is also a subjective one. Some relationships come out stronger after a couple has properly dealt with the incident, why it happened and with the partner who wavered, while other relationships don't stop going down the downward spiral till the relationship is finished. It's largely based upon the reason a partner cheated. In my opinion there is no reason good enough to justify cheating but if the partner has a reason, it's worth looking at it.

The way I see it, whether your relationship can survive the episode or not is dependent on two things, the first would be your understanding of your husband : who he is, what kind of a person he is and his view of the episode. The second would be knowing what the situation is going to be like with the child involved and how you feel about the whole thing. There is no standard solution to such situations because very very different things work for different couples. It's not necessary that what worked for someone else in a relationship that involved cheating, will work for you too.

Above all this, get in touch with your feelings. It's an incredibly traumatic experience. To ensure that your judgement isn't clouded, take time to process the hurt and the shock. In my opinion, reach out to a counselor, to form a support system and have a safe space to deal with what has happened. You know yourself,, your husband and your relationship the best. Take your time and go with what will make you happy, ultimately.

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