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My husband doesn't feel attraction towards me. I hate myself, depressed!

Asked by Female, 26, Married
I hate myself. My husband is not getting close to me. Yesterday night I tried to get close to him and he behaved like I am forcing him. Today morning when I asked him why he is doing this, he said he just doesn't feel like getting close to me or do something romantic. And he said I need a counseling. It's been 7 months I gave birth to my child. I feel depressed.
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Counseling Psychologist

It's quite a painful and sensitive realization to watch your husband recoil from attempts of intimacy. The fact that you're trying to reach out and figure this out is your first step already taken.

You'e recently welcomed a big change in your life, a baby. Such a change usually brings along a shift in life. maybe your husband was not fully prepared to face the situation and seems to have cut -off emotionally and physically. The same could have happened with you, if he has suggested that you need to seek help, maybe it's worth looking into and figuring out why he thinks you need help. It will help you assess how much truth there is to the matter and if needed yo can actually seek help and find an anchor for yourself through a tough time.

If it seems that both of you need help with what you're facing then you can consider visiting a marriage therapist to probe deeper into the issues you're facing as a couple. Intimacy and romance have a way of going high and low in relationships and usually get back on track when both the individuals work towards a common goal.

Have a conversation with your husband with the intention of problem-solving more than anything else. Try to gauge what he wants out of the relationship and communicate your needs as well. Seek help if necessary and things should get back on track over a period of time.

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