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Middle-aged, no sex drive, have suicidal thoughts

Asked by Male, 51, Married
My age is 52 male my wife never like to even kiss her, last 9 years we have not been in sex she never want to go for it I have one 9 year son. I feel very bad some time I feel to attempt for sucide please help me
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Chandni Gandhi
Counselling Psychologist

Hi,This is common occurrence with many men and women as well, we can understand frustration that you might be having at this point. For many people, sex is not just about body rather about connection with partner that it brings along, also about feelings of being needed, wanted and desired play major role.you will have to reflect about what does sex mean to you? On the other hand i am sure there is some strong reason behind your wife not entertaining physical relationship, you should consider talking to her and understanding what are her views on it and helping her out as well to come out of it.Meanwhile you are working on it, you may want to consider other ways of working on your bond like follows:1) Do things together apart from parentingIt can be anything, from reading books of both your interest to working out together, just sky gazing together, something that interests both of you 2) Revisit your pastit can be done by either talking about intimate moments you had together, or watching photo album or videos of both of you together and you can convey how much you miss all of that, walking down memory lane always helps3) Ask real questions Go beyond what colour she likes and how was her day. questions like whats in her to do/bucket list? what would she wish for if she had three wishes? etc will help you understand her better, share your views as well4) Attempt bucket listAll that is common in both your bucket list, try to do as much as you can and discuss how it feels to be doing these things together This will improve your bonding, lessen your frustrationif at any given point you have suicidal thoughts please call on 02227546669- AasraHope this helpsWrite back to us if there are more queries

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